Quirks in Behavior

Have you noticed that autism has started to become popular? There are people who have decided that they must be slightly autistic. It’s no wonder. The autism spectrum is vast and the behaviors are so varied that now everyone can look at themselves and say, “Hey, I do that! I must be autistic!” I hate to put a damper on your insight, but unfortunately, you are most likely just . . . neurotypical (normal-brained).

Increasing autism awareness is a good thing. We want everyone to know what autism is and the challenges that come with having that particular diagnosis. The awareness campaign has also increased the number of adults who now believe that they were autistic. First of all, “were” doesn’t fit with autism. You are either autistic or you are not – it doesn’t magically go away because you grow up. Second, everyone has personality and behavior quirks – everybody. A few strange behaviors do not indicate a life-long communication disorder.

The increased awareness coupled with the epidemic in new cases has also made autism the new topic around the water cooler, TV specials and news stories. Most individuals know what autism is and almost everyone now knows someone who is autistic. It’s only logical that people would reflect upon their own special quirks and come to the conclusion that they themselves have some autistic traits. A few traits do not make it autism. Am I autistic? Gosh, let’s see… I like to be away from people when I am not working. I am a hermit who lives in the woods. I like my house organized and clean. I like my file cabinets organized, my clothes organized, my pantry organized – basically, I am very organized. I have certain routines every day and when my routine is thrown off I get flustered. I make the bed before I get dressed – always. I check the news on the Internet while I drink my coffee. I need everything put in its place. I focus my intelligence on certain topics – all else is trivia. With all these strange behaviors I must be slightly autistic, right?

Wrong - I am just another neurotypical human being. Over the years Tom and I have joked about this more than once. If I get on him about tossing stuff down and not putting it away, I look at him and smile, “Humor me, it’s just my autism coming out”, but it’s all in fun. I don’t have autism – I have quirks.

Everyone has personality quirks - after all we are not a species of clones. To assume that any of these behaviors suggests autism is ridiculous. Yet, people scan history trying to find any famous individual with a certain set of quirks so they can claim them to be autistic. Do you know a truly autistic person? Chances are if you are reading this then the answer is “yes”. Next question; how well do you know them? If it’s your child and they are over the age of 5, then you have a pretty good idea of what autism is really all about. If you have or know a younger child, I am simply suggesting you may have less experience and therefore may be a bit more mystified by the whole autism-thing, so please don’t take offense. Those first few years are overwhelming and parents are in the throws of behavior modification themselves. I am sure most new parents will agree that raising an autistic child is not the same as raising a neurotypical one. After several years of learning to see the world as an autistic child sees it you come to know exactly what having autism really means. It’s hard to explain it to people without reverting to the common phrases associated with it – a “communication and social interaction disorder” just doesn’t fully describe it, does it?

I read last night that some famous people are now spreading rumors that they used to be autistic or have a mild case – as if it’s the flu. PLEASE! Quit trying to underscore the severity of the current pandemic. Anyone who really, really knows an autistic person is laughing at you! We know what a diagnosis of autism means. We know it is more than just a “communication and social interaction disorder”. We know what it looks like and how it affects every aspect of the individual’s life. We know.

So Courtney Love, chances are you are an autism-wanna-be. Just another normal person with some personality quirks that thinks autism is just a list of strange behaviors. My suggestion to you, Courtney, is to go ask John Travolta or Sylvester Stallone what they think. They both have children with autism and have the inside track on what “autistic” looks like. Better yet, ask Temple Grandin. I am sure she would tell you that you are simply neurotypical – sorry.

Over the years I have learned so much from my son. I now look at the world in a whole new way. Having an autistic son has enriched my life and made me a better mother, a better teacher, and a better person. Don’t let anyone minimize the accomplishments of the autistic person in your life by allowing them to claim that they too are autistic – just a mild case of course. No they are not – they are unfortunately, normal – just another neurotypical person with a list of personality quirks wanting some attention.

An autistic person would never seek attention that way – and they would never see their own unique behaviors as quirks.