Matt has always loved VT. Since he was old enough to watch a game, see a Hokies t-shirt, and explore the campus. We took all the kids to tech years and years ago when they were all so very young. They raced on the sidewalk paths between buildings and climbed the stairs between monuments, and explored the football stadium. It’s a beautiful campus. The architecture is magnificent. I’m not sure what caught his attention first, the architecture or the sidewalk patterns, but Matt has been hooked ever since that first visit. Every child eventually decided on a favorite team. For Matt, it had to be Virginia Tech. No one else in the family was a Hokie fan, so he wasn't mimicking anyone. He picked the Hokies on his own. Soon everyone knew Matt was a big fan. Each holiday and birthday brought more VT-logo items; key chains, t-shirts, sweatpants, shorts, posters, mugs, glasses, and the list could go on and on. In deciding what color Matt wanted his game room painted, guess which colors he chose? Hokie maroon and orange. The walls may be a boring white but the trim and cabinets are bold maroon and eye-popping orange. Matt matched the colors at Lowe's using only his memory and when we held the paint samples up to his VT throw rug the color match was seamless. Matt even bought a VT couch (maroon and orange with the VT logo on the head rest) to put in his newly painted VT game room.
Toward the end of his last year of high school Matt was invited to tech for a seminar for students with disabilities. He stayed in a dorm, ate at the cafeteria, and shopped at the bookstore. I was with him as his facilitator and got to experience the campus also – and I became a fan. Morning seminars were followed by a long break. Matt would use his break to hunt out a new as- yet- unseen, corner of the campus and draw. His sketches captured details I hadn’t really noticed until then.
Matt could have gone to Virginia Tech as a student. His GPA of 3.85, his school activities, his class standing, all screamed for the admittance. Alas, Matt had not grown socially enough to handle the pranks of other students, the comments from teachers, or even the guidance of the help desk. He had real difficulty starting conversations or joining in, and when nervous, his speech clarity would decrease. It’s been 5 years since then and he has improved in these areas tremendously within that time. Could Matt handle campus life now? Maybe. But although he has improved socially, I feel he would do better with just a bit more practice in the independent thinking -self-esteem department.
If Matt would have gone immediately after high school, and he had stayed for a second year, then he would have been on campus the day of the shootings 3 years ago today. How would have reacted to the sounds, the police, the tears and anguish? As it was, Matt was glued to the TV that day. He continued to watch the news day after day in the wake of the tragedy. He was shaken.
Last year, after the crowds had left campus for the summer break, we took Matt to Virginia Tech. We walked the campus and found the memorial in remembrance of the fallen. We read each of the 32 markers, walking slowly- our heads bowed. The memorial was simple in its construction, perfect in its design. At first, not one of could speak. Matt went off alone to read each stone, and took pictures – lots and lots of pictures. He walked to the street area and looked over the campus grounds as if trying to picture the horrific scene. Tom and I carried on some light conversation, but mostly we were silent too. Matt was reserved and thoughtful.
We spent hours on campus that day. We walked everywhere. We explored all the sports arenas. We reminded ourselves that Tech was still a vibrant first-class school. And we remembered the innocents – students and faculty.
Matt will never forget. This year we are scheduled for our yearly campus trip the weekend after final exams and Matt has been marking off the days on the calendar. During our visit we will again find the memorial and pay our respects. This is - and always has been- Matt’s idea to stroll the campus and pay our respects to the fallen. I believe you call it empathy – one of those elusive emotions that autistic individuals are not suppose to display. I can attest to the falseness of this stereotype. If you need to see empathy in an autistic young man, then meet us there – at the memorial.
Today is the anniversary of a horrific event that hurt us all and especially those who have an intimate tie to VT. Today we all stand in support of our friends on the VT campus and remember. Today we are all Virginia Tech Hokies.
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