Going for a walk

“Hey Matt, you want to go for a walk?” A simple question – so simple it seems a very unlikely topic for a story. “Yes. I want to go” a clear, full-sentence response from my son. We grabbed a drink and headed out the door. Matt always walks slightly behind me and sure enough, he strode in next to me, slightly behind, as we walked through the yard. I’m out of shape from a full-blown snowy winter and need the exercise. Matt just likes walking down the road toward the creek. Tom wants to take some spring pictures. The three of us turn the corner and our pace becomes a steady stride. We talk and laugh and walk.

It hasn’t always been that easy to get Matt out of the house. He was afraid of bugs, hated the sounds of traffic and the unknown. Our rural road has no designated path for pedestrians, so we walk in the road. We use to take the whole gang for a walk and we always picked the direction of the creek. Matt liked throwing rocks in the creek and his desire to watch the splash, hear the plunk, and try new trajectories over rode his fear of the outdoors. Instead of asking, “Would you like to go for a walk?” we would ask, “Do you want to go throw rocks in the creek?”

Over the years we took many adventurous hikes to waterfalls and mountain tops, and we dealt with each challenge that came with these excursions. The challenges never prevented us from just doing what we wanted to do as a family. We hiked at Mt. Rogers State Park and walked literally miles of the Appalachian Trail. We hiked old railroad beds and along flowing creeks. We even “hiked” the sandy coast, walking for what felt like miles along the ocean on the hard-packed sand. We have hiked the mall in D.C. and in the woods behind our home. Each of these experiences had something that was feared and something that was desired and Matt had to focus on the desire to withstand the fear.

First, he rode on my shoulders, towering above the itchy grass and the majority of bugs. Then he walked on his own on well made paths, within easy reach of Tom or I for safety. The fear of bugs changed slowly over the years – so much so that if a butterfly landed nearby Matt would extend his hand and coax the insect to sit on him. A bad bug? Well, on occasion a bee would fly by. Fortunately, there was always someone close by that could take his hand or pick him up. Then we had to make sure no one spoke of cougars or bears – which do live in most of the forested areas we visited. Thank goodness we never ran into one. On Mt. Rogers there are wild ponies and we encouraged the kids to feed the ponies Oreo cookies. This made the ponies a bit too friendly sometimes and we had to run away to get them to leave us alone. But we laughed about it, and soon Matt laughed about it too, and eventually Matt even fed the ponies Oreo cookies.

Most areas had some visitor’s center, gift shop or museum and we would venture inside to read about the history of an area. We soon found that Matt liked this part quite a bit. We discovered the more he knew, the less he feared. The more he found out about a place, the more he wanted to explore and this meant he would have to deal with crowds of people. The mall in Washington, D.C. had crowds of people. This particular fear was alleviated by keeping him focused on the history and the architecture in and around the capital and on the many excursions into the Smithsonian.

Even the beach had its down fall – crabs! The crabs come out of their holes at night and run along the ocean shore. Crabs are fast! They run sideways and in unpredictable trajectories. These creatures made Matt extremely apprehensive of night walks. We coaxed him out of the motel using a flashlight. We demonstrated the effect of light on a crab – each would scurry away and our path was clear. Not only did the flashlight empower him against the dark, it was fun to watch the crabs scurry. Flashlights became a required item for any night beach-walking activity. All of these trips were meant for the whole family. To have a real family vacation meant we had to expose Matt to the things he hated.

It’s been years since we completed the adventure hurdle. Now Matt loves going anywhere, anytime. So today we went for a walk. We all looked at different scenery; Tom was looking at the wild flowers, Matt at the ducks at the creek and the cows behind the fence and I at the tops of the trees. Tom pointed to a specific patch of tiny, star-shaped Spraxis and Matt and I both commented. I noticed the squirrel nests and pointed them out. Matt was eager to see them too and was thrilled to finally get a view, happily announcing “Oh, I see it!” If someone drove by or even listened in on our banter they would see only a family going for a walk. How many years have I waited to feel like this?

We’re comfortable. We’re in a good place right now – between hurdles. I enjoyed my walk today. I got some much needed exercise, saw the evidence of spring in the emergence of flowers, and was in the company of 2 good-looking men. Autism never crossed my mind.