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Story of the Day

Stories from the early years, the school years and his adult life as they occur.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Devil Coaches Soccer

Not all sports activities went well. Matt loved T-ball and so did we. He loved the Special Olympics – at least until it dawned on him what the “special” meant. When he entered high school we wanted his desire to play on team to continue. Team – just the word oozes social skills, doesn’t it? So we thought about each sport offered at the high school level.

Football – no, Matt was to nice to knock someone down, not very fast compared to other kids his age and wouldn’t know what to do if he ever got the opportunity to even touch the ball. He would be tackled and not know how to deal with it. No, certainly not football.

Baseball – unfortunately no. Although Matt loved the game, the level of sportsmanship was pretty terrible. Student jocks would resort to picking on him and Matt couldn’t deal with that type of situation.

Basketball – no, not after the fiasco of basketball at the elementary level (have I told you that story yet?). The more we looked at each sport, the more we felt it would not be in Matt’s best interests – that was until we looked at soccer.

Soccer consisted of both boys and girls. There would be running and kicking, and the directions for play were easy to understand. It was a new sport to the high school and kids from all five grades could play (8th grade – 12th grade). Matt was in 8th grade and Christopher was in 12th. Christopher could watch over him and keep the bullies away. It felt right. We met with the coach and explained Matt’s needs. We asked him – more than once – if he would actually play Matt. If Matt was to be relegated to the bench then we would rather not do it at all. The coach assured us Matt would play, and he assured us each time we asked. He explained that when a game is obviously one-sided and there was no possible way one team could win, that he always put in the less experienced team players so that they could get some game-time practice. Sounded O.K. to us . . .

We went soccer shopping. The boys needed soccer shoes and accessories and we were only too happy to oblige. It would be the only time in their school years that both boys would be on the same team – we were hyped! We took them to practice and stayed on occasion to watch some of the practice sessions. There were a few instances where we could see from the bleachers that Christopher was upset – O.K., more than upset, he appeared really steamed! Each time we inquired about the problem he gave the same answer, “The coach doesn’t let Matt practice much or play”. We would soothe his ruffled feathers by telling him that we had the coach’s word that Matt would get to play eventually. Christopher was not so sure.

After each angry burst from Christopher we would find the coach and re-state our concerns, “Are you sure you will play Matt?” “Oh, absolutely! Yadda, yadda, yadda”. You know where this is going, right?

Several games came and went and Matt’s feet never touched the turf. We were getting concerned. The game at GW high school verified our concerns. The boys ran out on the field with the team following their coach to the bench. Matt is visibly excited again, hopping and pacing – maybe this time he will play. Christopher was more stationary, watching each quarter unfold. It was a new sport and the kids on our team were not yet seasoned. They were being run into the ground by their opponent and the clock kept ticking. It was obvious by the last quarter that the other team had beaten them thoroughly, and yet only the best players were still playing. No one who had sat on the bench for the last hour had gotten a chance to play. Time was running out. Tom and I fumed. How could the coach be so cruel to all those other kids? We would rather Matt not play on the team than to be on the team and not play. I wonder what the other parents thought as they too watched their children sadly sitting on the bench. Matt had been returning home after each game depressed and withdrawn - no more.

Just as we are making our plans to pull him from the team we see Christopher yell at the coach. We see the coach yell back. We see Christopher grab his jacket and yell to Matt to get his coat. We hear the coach threaten Christopher, “Don’t you walk away from me!” – Christopher pretending not to hear. “You walk off this field and you’re out! You will never play!” the coach continued. “We’re not playing now, what difference would it make!” yelled Christopher as he helped Matt with his coat. Christopher proceeded to take Matt off the field.

We were anxiously awaiting them as they climbed the steps toward the bleachers and away from the field. “What was all that about?” I inquired, already knowing but needing to hear it from him. “That SOB was never going to play Matt, he was never going to play anyone except his favorites and I wasn’t going to just stand there and let him hurt him like that!”

Now, maybe I’m not the greatest of parents, but I sure was proud of my oldest son that day. He told the coach exactly what he thought – no fear. He stood up for his brother. Right is right and wrong is wrong, and what that coach did was wrong. Tom went in to talk to the principal the next day still fuming from the previous night's game. He was going in to file a formal complaint and in doing so, showed tremendous support for the actions of our oldest son, Christopher.

All we wanted was for Matt to have a chance to play. Game after game, practice after practice, the coach left Matt on the bench. We had explicitly asked the coach if he would ever play Matt – to avoid this exact situation. All the coach had to do was tell us straight and none of this would have occurred. Personally, I’m kind of glad it did. I am still overwhelmed with emotion when I think of how Christopher stood up to an adult, risked detention and reprimand, to stand up for his little brother. I would have done exactly the same thing. Matt was initially upset, but he took his cue from his big brother and decided to dislike the coach too, telling me that the coach "was the devil". We found other activities to involve Matt - we moved on. I won’t ever forget it though. And Christopher, if you’re reading this, I know I have told you before, but I am going to say it again – you made me so very proud of you that day.

I love you kiddo.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

It doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but it was almost ten years ago that we quit soccer. Wow.

Oh well. OLE! OLE, OLE, OLE! Me and Matt still sing that song :)