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Story of the Day

Stories from the early years, the school years and his adult life as they occur.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Shave and a Haircut

When the boys were small I cut their hair. Of course I was pretty awful at it in the beginning and must confess there were several times the end result was ghastly. I’ve improved. I’m still not a beautician, but the style is real simple. I have taken Christopher and Matt for professional hair care, but Christopher would complain non-stop about his newest cut and Matt would put his fingers up between the blades of the shears to stop the process. The fight just wasn’t worth it, and in the end I just cut their hair myself.

The challenge of cutting Matt’s hair was an eye-opening event. I would let his hair grow just as long as I could stand it, until finally I had too get out the shears if I wanted him to be able to see. His first few cuts had been an enormous drain of my energy and I knew what I was in for. He would squirm, twist, his hands would unexpectedly pop upward when I least expected. It was obvious he hated the sound of his hair being trimmed – especially around the ears - his hands would fly up to cover and protect them. I would be exhausted from the event. This was not the worst part of the ordeal.

The worst part came after the scissors was put up and the plastic cape removed. Matt would hop down from his chair and then look sadly at his hair on the floor. With tears in his eyes, he would bend and pick up hands full of clippings and try to place them back on his head. He must have asked himself why? Why would I do this to him? Why would I remove parts of him and sweep it into the trash? I can’t imagine his confusion or depth of despair at the forced removal of pieces of his body. It took years of watching both his brother and Tom get hair cuts before he realized it was not a mutilation and would allow me to cut his hair in peace. Now he comes willingly to the chair, keeps his hands under wraps, and checks the final style in the mirror to make sure it is to his expectations - all very normal behaviors.

The need for a shave didn’t arrive until puberty. He was learning to wear deodorant, brush his teeth himself, and to take his own shower without help or supervision, all around the same age. His facial hair started to come in and we attempted the “shave”. I tried to help him once or twice, but I don’t shave my face and I just couldn’t seem to help him do it right. Tom stepped in at this point and went over the procedure step by step, taking his time and explaining each part. Matt thought the foam shaving cream was cool and liked putting it on his face, but he hated the scratchy feel of a razor. His face always appeared irritated and acne started to form. After a year we switched him to an electric razor. He hated the buzzing sound, the blades tugged at his whiskers and he just couldn’t stand to keep rubbing this metal torture devise across his face. In the end, we had only one choice left – keep the beard. He had watched Tom and Christopher shave, and this help to at least give him the courage to try it, for which I am thankful. Matt was only in 9th grade when Matt began to grow his beard. Christopher also grew out his facial hair, and Tom allowed his own beard to emerge again. I watched as Matt’s face transformed to one with a beard. He looked so much older. To be truthful, he looked a bit scary – a big guy, beard, a deep voice – someone you would think twice about messing with. I began to like this new Matt for exactly that reason. No stranger would ever think of him as helpless and this brought me some peace of mind.

So, Matt has a beard – a really cool one. He’s happy with the way he looks.

He lets me trim it up and allows me to thin it out to make it appear neat and tidy, but not because he needs it to look a certain way. I’m the one who wants it trimmed. Matt would let his beard grow to his feet if I let him.

At the rate it grows it could be there in about 6 months.

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