Changing connections

The brain is amazing in its complexity. Young children, around the age of 3, have a pretty large brain when you compare it to their body size.  Actually, their brain is about 90% that of an adult, yet their body size is only around 15% that of an adult. The cells (neurons) seem to be connecting at lightning speed.  Think about it for a moment - speech, facial recognition, walking, running, eating with utensils, singing, playing, laughing, learning defiance, and pushing parents to their limits, all happens during this young age.  We may call it the terrible twos, but it lasts much longer than the second year of life (as any parent can testify).

During this remarkable time, the brain is organizing and developing.  It is making connections at a very fast pace.  Lets say, a young child experiences a brain injury during this crucial time of brain development - injury here referring to the onset of autism. Sensations from the senses are not interpreted the same; odors smell different, bright lights seem to hurt, sensations on the skin are amplified, loud sounds feel painful. Disruption in the wiring results in a kind of sensation overload.  The brain, in its complexity, sees this change as a threat and sends out the signals for the body to beware - this is anxiety.  Think of anxiety as the brains way to alert  you to danger, part of the flight or fight response. But, unfortunately, the wiring is faulty and it tries to throw out the correct response to all these changes through the best route it can. Alas, it doesn't quite get it right, and we see this response as the symptoms of autism; hand-flapping, rocking back and forth, averting the eyes, spinning, sometimes even  head-banging.  Now you know why it is so important to get an early diagnosis. Parents, teachers, paraprofessionals, all must work together to try to re-route these connections back to where they should be, and it has to start while the brain is still capable of forming these connections.

Lets narrow it down to hand-flapping.  Matt started hand-flapping between the ages of 2-3.  Was he excited? Upset? Why did he do it when he wanted something, like a toy or candy?  More impotantly, how do I make him stop?

We started with simply holding hands, just a short hold, nothing too intense, no telling him to stop, no aggression or threats.  He had to feel safe.  Remember, find out what he wants, give him what he needs.  He wanted to communicate. He needed to feel safe about asking.  Asking was not a verbal option. Asking came in the form of gesture and facial expressions.  He needed to feel it was O.K. to ask, but his anxiety over how to ask, or even his expectation of the response (whether excited or apprehensive), lead to hand-flapping.

There were days when we held his hands a lot, and days where we gave him the outlet to just flap away.  As he got older and felt more comfortable in his surroundings, and could use other forms of communication, the hand-flapping slowly disappeared.  He had made new connections in the emotional center of his brain that tied into the ability to communicate.  I like to think that the anxiety of dealing with a foreign environment was replaced with the security of familiarity.

Familiarity is extremely important to the autistic child.  Sameness.  Everything must line-up in this direction or that.  Being the first in line - always.  The same routine for each day.  Eating the same foods.  Watching the same shows (over and over and over). Familiarity and knowing what to expect relieved anxiety.  Relieving anxiety lessened the behaviors so common to children with autism.  It sounds so easy . . . .

Ask any parent of an autistic child and they will tell you the pitfalls. Have you ever watched the movie, "Harry and the Hendersons"?  Well, our entire family has seen it or heard at least 200 times.  Ever watch an episode of "Thomas the Tank Engine"?  Again, we know them all by heart.  Not only did we have to buy every single video in the series, but we had to read the box-cover to make sure we had all the videos (they listed every episode on each tape).  Why would we put ourselves through such auditory stress?  Because Matt NEEDED it. It brought comfort and pleasure to him.  He memorized all the lines.  Was it useful?  Yes!  His movies  depicted human interactions, showed emotional connections and facial expressions, provided repeated examples of proper speech.  The animated videos taught imaginary play, depicted good behavior and bad behavior, and of course, Matt's favorite, comic relief.

So, if you know a family with an autistic child, and you see them performing the same rituals each day and showing the same video (DVD) over and over, tell them what a wonderful sacrifice they are making.  They are providing familiarity, and thus comfort, to their child.  Comfort relieves anxiety.  Less anxiety allows the possibilities for new connections to form along the right routes within their child's developing brain.

Oh, and not all routines are stressful. Getting him dressed each morning and in pajamas at night, brushing his teeth, making sure he saw me smile (a lot!), all brought about changes in his behavior and provided new learning experiences.  My favorite?  Remember me telling you about how I would place my hand softly on his cheek and  he would brush it away?  Well, I never gave up on that one.  I would place my hand softly on his cheek and speak soothingly in his ear, and smile (always the smiles), and eventually one day he leaned into my hand.  Months later he would put his hand over mine and press it tighter.  And finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to come to me when he was upset or hurt and would grab hold of my hand and place it upon his cheek himself. 

I can't express what that meant to me.  I had finally broken through the barrier of autism and was really, really touching MY SON. Out of all the people in the world, this little boy trusted ME to be the one to give him comfort.   

That one little change in behavior gave me all the hope and the strength I would ever need to continue the battle against autism.