How sweet it is . . .

Parents remember their child’s “firsts”: their first step, their first word, the first tooth for the tooth fairy. There was a “first” that occurred yesterday that I am still thinking of this morning as I am getting ready for work. I received my first gift from Matt.

Shopping for presents is not new to him. We announce what day in advance and Matt marks the calendar as each day goes by, knowing he is one day closer to the shopping event. Shopping for Matt (and for Tom and I too) is an adventure. We go on the hunt for an item of interest or just go to see what interesting treasures we can find – but it’s always an adventure. Matt has certain stores he wants to visit, even if he has no particular item in mind, and he gives us his list for the day. On the way there he plays his CDs and sings. He talks about what he sees – a snowy egret, a deer, a license plate from New York. We talk and laugh. Many trips involve a stop for chicken nuggets and fries, which adds to his delight.

We don’t always buy something. Sometimes we just look, and Matt is OK with that. He has his own money and we don’t prohibit spending. If he wants it he buys it. His ability to calculate his purchase and still keep enough to get to his next payday has improved 100 fold. Matt has become quite the savvy consumer. On holidays, birthdays and special occasions, Matt decides what to get each family member. When he first started out purchasing with his own money we made suggestions or nudged him toward certain items to help him along. He doesn’t require too much nudging anymore, but loves getting various suggestions to focus him on a specific person’s likes and dislikes.

Yesterday was different. I returned home from work late in the evening from an exhausting day. Matt met me as I was putting down my folders, books, lunch bag, and purse. “Did you have a good day?” I asked. His smile was bigger than usual and a twinkle gleamed from his eyes, “Yes!” I turned to talk to Tom. Smiling, Tom tipped his head toward Matt and said, “Matt has something for you”. I turned around to see an excited Matt. He placed a white chocolate Kit-Kat bar in my hand. “Thanks Matt, these are my favorite.” I gave him a hug and a kiss and he bounced away toward his room, very pleased with himself.

A candy bar? That’s all . . . Really? I know, you are wondering why I am so joyous over a simple candy bar. Let me explain to you what Tom explained to me: Tom and Matt went to the grocery store. Matt hung back at the register – his wallet out (signifying he was paying for some items he wanted). Tom waited at the end of the counter, talking with one of the employees, as the cashier rung up Matt’s items. Matt was happy, digging for quarters in his pocket full of change. When they got back to the jeep, Tom asked Matt what he had bought. Matt, a creature of habit, loved to purchase a drink and candy, and Tom assumed this is what he had gotten. “Skittles and a white Kit-Kat for mama”, he announced triumphantly. “Oh, mommy loves white Kit-Kats, doesn’t she?” Tom affirmed. Matt just beamed and replied “Yes!”

I can’t express just how much that simple gesture means to me. I am the one who sets the rules, the one who forced him to go to school, clean his room, dress without the patterns clashing. I have assumed that he couldn’t wait to get away from my strict policies. Yet, yesterday, while shopping with his daddy, Matt thought of ME!

Matt had never bought me anything without prompting. How wonderful to know my son was thinking of me – enough to search for my favorite candy (which are terribly difficult to find) and purchase it himself. Today, I have a white Kit-Kat bar in the refrigerator waiting for me – yet I really don’t want to eat it. I want to preserve it somehow – like his baby teeth and the lock of hair from his first haircut. I will eat it of course, or I would risk hurting his feelings - but the wrapper? Well . . . the wrapper will find its way into my keepsake box and become part of my treasured memories.

My son thinks of me . . . and today I am the one who is glowing.