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Story of the Day

Stories from the early years, the school years and his adult life as they occur.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

A Quiet Mind

The hearing of an autistic individual is acute, as I mentioned before. The sounds we ignore – background noise to us – is much louder for them. They hear everything as if nothing was background. I understand his need to have these noises diminished. Tom has ringing of the ears, and needs some noise to drown out the ringing. It’s not that different for Matt.

When he was a little boy, between the ages of 3 – 6, he would come to my bedroom at night, dragging his pillow and blanket, and lay down on the floor next to my bed. I would lightly brush his hair with my hand and speak softly to him, and then place my hand on his cheek to let him know it was alright. He would put his hand over mine – Matt’s version of a hug - and then would put the pillow over his head and fall asleep. There were at least 3 reasons for this behavior; 1 – he needed to feel safe, 2 – he was afraid of the dark, and 3 - he needed the sound of my fan.

Feeling safe . . .a major emotional need for an autistic child. That feeling of safety allowed him to explore a world he found difficult to enter. If you were in a strange land and didn’t know how to communicate, wouldn’t the touch of someone you love comfort you? He found that being near me, having my hand reassure him, was enough to put him at ease in the dark.

The darkness of the night is scary to most little children. They can imagine monsters in the shadows. Darkness has always made him fearful. He needed the lights on in the house at night. We always kept our bedroom door open and the hallway light on. Keeping our door open let him know it was OK to come in. Keeping the hallway light on provide the security to travel down the hallway to our room in the safety of the light. To this day, Matt still must have his bedroom door open and the hallway light on when he goes to bed.

I run a fan at night to drown out the sounds of the house. I’m a light sleeper and the fan keeps me from waking up to every little sound. Matt found this sound to be quite satisfying. The hum of the fan kept the other noises as bay. Yet, in order for this to work he had to have the fan right at his head, only inches from his pillows. In addition, Matt needed 2 pillows – one to rest his head upon and one to cover his head to filter the sounds of the house. This behavior remains to this day. He still needs his fan on, close to his head, and a pillow over his ears.

When we go on vacation we can not forget his fan or his pillows. When night comes and he is prepares for bed, he must first set up his fan, usually on a chair so it can be close to his head, and arranges his pillows exactly the same as they are when he is home – one to rest his head upon, one to cover his head to muffle the noise.

In understanding an autistic individual a person must realize that these behaviors are not abnormal, they are needed. A feeling of safety is a must to any child. Matt feels very secure in his surroundings now, he can sleep in his own room because he knows we are just a room or two away. He learned to cope with the noise level disparity in his own way. What would have happened if I would have made him sleep in the dark, in his own room, without a fan? I can’t imagine how different he would be. I am sure his progress would have been affected tremendously. Such a simple thing to allow him him to find his way gave him peace. His mind could absorb so much more. When a child feels safe, and the mind can rest, then the learning can take place.

I can’t stress enough how much these simple things are needed to achieve success in teaching new behaviors and helping the child to shed the old, autistic behaviors. Each child is different. Remember, step one in the re-teaching of Matt: Learn how he learns, see what he sees, and figure out why he needs what he needs.

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